2FLAT

IF YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF HERE THEN I'M SORRY THIS PAGE IS DEAD.

I'VE REINCARNATED TO 2FLAT. GO THERE INSTEAD.

KING OF SKIPPERS

WELL THANKS FOR THE BRAVE TURNING OUT. 

25 RIDERS TURNED OUT TO TEST THEIR METAL DOWN THE INFMAOUS SKIPPERS PACK TRACK.

MUCH SMACK TALK WAS SPOKEN LEADING UP TO THE EVENT BUT THE EVENTUAL WINNER WAS GINGER SI WITH A 6.40.

THE PREVIOUS RECORD WAS 7.49 ELEVEN YEARS AGO.

AS A SIDE NOTE, VERTIGO TEAM TOOK OUT 1ST TO 5TH PLACE...LOCALS KNOWLEDGE?

WEEK OF WONDER 9TH-13TH FEB

PUT THE DATES IN YOUR DIARIES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

LEAGUE FO GENTLEMEN NUMER 4

FERNHILL FUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE

where: meet wynyard at 630pm wed 14th jan

course: up fernhill loop to top then mega smash down Fernhill Roots to skyline half way.

bring: $2 and timing device.

LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN RACE 3

PUT THIS IN YOUR DIARIES...

7TH JAN 2009

LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN RACE 3

COLIN MCRAE MEMORIAL RALLY RACE

630PM at THE HUB in SEVEN MILE

multi stage gravity race

bring $2 and your timing device

SEVEN MILE GANGBANG. LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN RACE 2

race two:

was gonna cal it the SEVEN MILE GANG BANG but didnt want to put people off so i called it the SEVEN MILE GROUP ACTION.

 the format was team race where each member of each team had to rideone of four courses and find the letters hidden thorugh the courses. then the teams had to get togther anf figure out the anagram. easy.

T-MAN, TIM CECI, GINA AND JT HUCK won the "race".

this week the race only cost $2 (procedes going to QMTBC) but riders had to bring 2 beers. one to drink themselves and the secong goes into the prize fund.

i like drinking races. well races with drinking involved.

we had some visiting pros attend. emmeline ragot and joe barnes. 

pinners pinned it, people rode it and everyone drank. perfect.

races will be every wednesday starting in 09.

The League of Gentlemen- race numero uno - das uber D

The first and possibly last...err... race [cough cough] of the League of Gentlemen series is upon us like a fat sweaty naked man with ill intent.

Go to your local Queenstown bike shop and get a flyer and all the details are there.or you can read onwards.

data:3rd dec 08 

time: 7pm

where: helipad at top of skyline.

bring: your own time recording device (stop watch or grandfather clock) and $5 which is not entry fee, you will see.

Formato: its beta than a super D thats why we is calling it UBER-D! 

Riders will have to race time, not other riders, fromt he top to the bottom with sections of short gravity challenged trail (uphill). 

there will be no tape. instead riders must follow the sweet stuff.

Rulz: there are no rulz. this is a gentlemens league so if you cheat then you lose!!

coursese: no pre ride of course. course will be preset, marked, mapped but will not be made publico until the evening of the event. no johnny straitlines thank you very much.

for more information then meet at 7pm at helipad at top of skyline on wedensday 3rd dec 08.

MUTHA FUCKIN KEN BLOCK AT IT AGAIN

I want to sell my bikes, liver and soul to have a car like THIS and drive it like THAT!!!

FIRST DAY BACK AT WORK

had first day back to work at Vertigo Bikes/Gravity Action. We got our first heli bike trip of the season done. was expecting lots of snow but there was way less than the same time last year.

anyway, heres a quick photo of my commute to work.

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah baby, needed new flavour for the new spring season on the old dirt jumper.

Couldnt decide between matt black and neon pink so i went with totally neekid.

Took a bit a work to get the frame stripped but was worth it.

I think this thing looks like sex. 

Went on a little day trip to Wanakashizzleshire at the weekend. Rode Lismore. damn the council, they went and cut all the trees down. the trees were the best things about that place. it was like riding real trails, zipping through the woods on a speed bike with no wind and no kids running all over the landings just as you come into land. Now its a shit show. blowy as fook, and theres kids everywhere. apparently the said cutting down the trees help with visuals as your riding but now that the place is so open theres kids everywhere and you need spotters all the way down the outside line just so you can get a full run. crazy.

afterwards rode Sticky with Mad as a haggis Matt. havent ridden there for ages but it was so cool. quick laps just pinning the tight trees as a group. fun ride.

anyway, no photos. was too busy packing two bikes and two sets of gear into Fozs death wagon to remember the camera. next time...

Burning down the house

Last week i came so close to realising a dream. Well not necessarily a dream, rather a nightmare. 

It was a casual thursday night like most thursday nights at home watching Celebrity Hells Kitchen with Marco-Pierre Scary-eyes and i had decided to turn in to bed early, but couldn't sleep because of some temporary insanity brought on ingesting the psychedelic pubic hair of a wizard warlock. I got outta bed to go make a cuppa tea or something and as I stepped into my kitchen all i saw was flashing orange lights on the other side of the curtains. Strange i thought, the bin men have already picked up the rubbish. So i went outside to explore and i was greeted by 4 foot high flames on my doorstep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy fuck!!!!! I managed to get that little puppy smothered before the whole house went up but damn, it didn't half give me a fright. 

Didn't sleep the rest of the night because a very powerful mix of self prescribed insane paranoia and genuine near death fear-relief. 

The photo above is not of anything of significance relating to that night. instead it is a bit of toilet graffiti that i came across in a dive bar in Vancouver Island couple of years ago. So eloquent don't you think?

BMX BANDITS

Weather is unpredictably shit at the mo. One day you can think spring is really here and its 19 degrees out, next day its as cold as a chully bin bro and pissing it down. Yesterday was one of those such days. so instead of wasting a day inside i wasted it inside by watchign BMX BANDITS the 1983 classic with Nicole Kidman in it. She has hair that looks like lightbulb filament back in this day. aahhhhhhh reminesce....

Kelly on the big little screen for RedBull Rampage

Was just doing todays internet scroll for the daily round up from day two of the RedBull Rampage in Utah and who should i see but Killa Kelly McGarry getting interviewed by my hero Rob Warner...

check it out...if the flaming video embeds below, if not got to HERE

THE RACE IS ON!!!!!

Entries for the 2009 Brake Burner at Coronet went online yesterday. Get in there fast as it sold out last year. Besides its a bargain at only $115 for a solo entry!!!! Well thats my race budget for the season gone already. Gonna have to really get into the "free riding" this year.

The photo to the left has nothing to do with anything Brake Burner related. Its just an old photo that Spainish photographer Adolfo Crespo took of me back a year and a half ago. Was doing a bit of a clear out of the 'puter files, found it again, and made me think back to those autumnal times whicht he Whistler crew will be going through right now...but not here suckas!!!! BRING ON THE SUMMER!!!!!!!!! AND HOORAY FOR DAY LIGHT SAVINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

famous again? wow i better get myself to Interbike and whore myself

Went to PaperPlus today to buy a pencil and noticed the new copy of NZ Mountain Biker magazine...and guess what theres me old muggins looking back at meself!!!

The article the photos appeared in was written by sheryl Mcloed about when she stayed with BearBackBiking the company i guide for back in Whistler.

Above is one of the photos that appeared in the article. Thw photo was taken by Stephen Wilde, an awesome photographer based outta North Van. unfortunately the printing quality of the magazine does not do his shots justice in my opinion. got to STEPHEN WILDE PHOTOGRPAHY here to check out his work

Finally back on-line

finally got hooked up with internet at home so now i can spend all day (when it rains) trudging through the endless abyss...

saw this...

Wynyard DH fluffing

WORK HAS BEGUN!!!!

you heard it right...theres a shit load of money getting poured into Gorge Road this spring to make it THE BEST AND BIGGEST jump park in NZ.

Imagine five times the size!!!! yeah thats right, FIVE!!!!

So far pro drainage is in and there is now four hose taps throughout the park for sprinkling the H2O when the trails dry up!!! perfect dirt even in the middle of summer!!!! the 2 tonne front loader is here and the dirt is slowly startign to get dropped off. so far we just been doing prep work and bulking up the exisiting line.

also we have been up Wynyard DH harvesting the perfect gold dirt to slap on them berms. the photo above does no justice. the berms are now bigger and meatier. we have also made it gnarlier by making it almost mandatory to jump from one berm to the next. flow, technique and railage baby!!!!!

NEW BIKE!!!

Got the new bike!!! THE NEW WEAPON OF ASS DESTRUCTION!!!

yeah thats right i got a commie meta 666. and yes thats right, its got a name that sounds like i should be wearing uber baggy bondage pants, black nail varnish and a choker chain.

ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD...well the snow white virginal one in this case.

Ceci the stag

Ceci is getting married, actually he already is, long story.

To celebrate Ceci made us go as far away from big black strippers and lampposts for his stag do.

Old rednuts himself.